i realized, to my dismay, that what i felt was a tremendous sense of unbelonging. alienated from this life i’d so carefully curated. somehow i felt hopelessly detached from all the trappings i’d clawed for, focus slipping through my fingers like silk. a vessel of simmering discontent. meanwhile the pot rages. meanwhile there are mouths waiting to be fed. meanwhile life goes on through rapture and disenchantment, all navel-gazing quite useless.